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From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.

Self-esteem isn’t an essential need like food or water, but it’s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled.

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She won’t abandon important parts of herself or her life for the sake of the relationship and if a guy wants something else or something more than she’s willing to give, she’ll leave. Confident women trust themselves and the decisions they make.

She may obsess, analyze, and replay every interaction in an attempt to uncover what she did wrong. Healthy personal boundaries and high self-esteem go hand in hand.

She may know on a conscious level that it simply wasn’t a match, but deep down she holds on to the destructive belief that she was the problem…and that she is unlovable and the guys she wants will never want her back. Having strong boundaries means you prioritize your needs and your emotions and do not assume responsibility for someone else’s needs and emotions.

Poor self-worth is what traps us in bad relationships, what sabotages new relationships, and what causes us to feel so devastated and broken when a relationship ends.

Self-esteem doesn’t come from blowing kisses to your reflection in the mirror or repeating “I love myself” over and over.

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